I sit here on my bed. incense burning, loyle carner playing, ready to write after a long period of nothing. November is coming to an end and i wanted to catch up with you on where i’ve been this month and how i managed to keep going despite obstacles. I’m going to be brutally honest and get some stuff out of my brain because in a way writing on my blog is part of keeping my sanity in check.
I know i’m not the only one who found this month difficult with the days getting shorter and darker, staying motivated is difficult. Honestly this month feels like a big fat fail and has marked a downward spiral in my mental health.
“My bed screams my name. I absorb the darkness and let it overcome me as i crawl back into a foetal position where its warm and safe. I’m drowning in work and desperately trying to make myself do it but how can I when i can hardly eat, shower or socialise. I no longer take reality for granted and question every sound. voices whisper to me as the figures shift around my room, I cant move my limbs but i feel so much. oh wait now i am numb. sorry it’s hard to stay focused. thoughts don’t stay still. my mouth moves but nothing of substance comes out.”
Reading through my journal this month is depressing but i’m still here. some how i made it. how did i make it? that is the question.
Theres is three main things that have helped me get through november and i think sharing them with you might help you find the light in the darkness.
1. Keep your family and friends close. I try to let them know whats going on, I don’t isolate myself and actually let them help me. A problem shared is a problem halved and all that. If i’m struggling doing something for myself e.g taking medication, i just think about how my actions will effect my friends and family. (so if i don’t take my medication will i upset someone i care about?) use your compassion and love for others to help yourself.
2. consume as much goodness and positivity as you can. This comes in many forms for example I consume food and drink to stay well nourished, i consume healing words and sounds from the books and magazines i read, music i listen to and advice from those i talk too. I stay away from obvious triggers and self soothe and ground myself using all 5 senses.
Favourites this month..
Poetry books such as Bone by yrsa daley-ward
Blue planet 2
nutella hot chocolate
mellow mong playlist
harry potter audiobooks read by Stephen fry.
animal crossing pocket camp
yoga with Adrienne
biscoff biscuit spread on anything
phone calls with family
3. Picking out and highlighting the good times. i try to keep notes on my phone of little things that made me happy or even snapchat funny moments that i can look back on and realise hey maybe its not all bad. Photo diaries and journalling are both so helpful.
I’m hoping next month will be even better for me and you